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Friday 11 February 2011

The Brace is Off

Finally, after 1360 days, I've had my brace taken off. It feels weird. My teeth look massive but it's probably because I'm not used to looking at myself without a brace on. It's good though. I can eat apples again and half off my meal doesn't get stuck in my teeth anymore.

I'm not completely finished with treatment yet though. I have a retainer (if you don't know, it's a plastic thing that clips in over my teeth) that I have to wear at night. I also need a venir on one of my teeth because it didn't move with the brace so it's out of place.

I've been waiting a long time for today and it's a good day.

P.S Photos to follow shortly.

Thursday 3 February 2011

A Story

Something happened to me yesterday and I'm not quite sure what to make of it so I'll share it with you.

At uni, I'm part of the Technical Crew for the Centre of Performing Arts. Right now we're in the middle of building the set for this years musical, Our House (shameless plug - click here for tickets). While we were in the workshop building yesterday, a woman came in (her name escapes me) to take a photo of all of us for the programme. She said she wanted us holding tools so I immediately picked up two battery drills and pretending they were guns (we were all in a bit of a silly mood at the time). She said, "That's good. Especially with your teeth." (referring, I assume, to my brace).

What was that supposed to mean? I'm sure she wasn't trying to poke fun or anything but it's what it felt like to me. It wasn't just a passing comment either, she said it about three or four more times while she was there. I was being singled out for the way my teeth are, which is no different to when people at school would laugh at me for the way I looked.

Anyway, I'm having my brace off in 8 days so I can pretend to be normal from then on.

Monday 22 November 2010

The Beginning of the End

After everything that had happened, I didn't think anything else could go wrong. I had an appointment last week but when I got there, I was told that they had lost all my notes so they had no idea why I was there. Instead, they took moulds and x-rays so start a new set of notes and made me an appointment for today.

So when I arrived today, the fire alarm was going off and everyone was stood outside, which was odd. I had a bit or dilema about whether I stand with my orthodontist and have an awkward conversation or not. I chose not to stand by him but did acknowledge him across the crowd. I think that was the right choice.

When I finally got seen (the fire alarm had put them ridiculously behind) he told me that in two visits time I would probably be having my brace off. How exciting. Today, he showed lots of different consultants my mouth. The tooth that wouldn't de-rotate, they're going to put a venir on after the brace comes off but first there's one tooth which is about half a millimetre out of line and because it's at the front, he wanted to fix it. In order to do that, he had to take the whole brace off the top jaw (which is what the brace repair lady didn't want to do when I broke my brace because it would take too long and wasn't worth it). This took no more than 5 minutes. Whilst he was there, he fixed the bit that had broken too.

Previously, everything had been tied in with wire since the operation to hold it all in place but now that some moving needs to happen, things are linked with the usual rubber bands but he's also put a 'Power Chain' on, which is very tight right now.

Next appointment, Decemeber 23rd. The end is in sight (hopefully).

Saturday 2 October 2010

Update

I haven't said anything here for a while so I thought it was about time.

Overall, my orthodontist is happy with the progress I am making post-op. The elastics have been working well and they have moved the jaw sideways into the correct position. Now, just a bit more elastic work is needed to move the jaw forward the last 0.5mm.

Next time I go (in about 5 weeks), he will grind away a tiny bit of my fron two teeth at the top because they are a little bit too wide in proportion with the rest of my teeth and mouth. It's only going to be a few tenths of a millimetre but it will look a lot better - hopefully.

3 months on and I still have no feeling in my bottom lip. I'm fairly sure that it's not going to comeback now but I've got used to it really. I just have to keep checking when I'm eating to make sure there's no food lurking there that would be embarrassing and my friends and family subtly tell me if there is so that's all fine.

One thing I'm not entirely happy about is the shape of my nose. It still bends to the left by what I consider a considerable amount. It looks more obvious in photos where I'm square on to the camera than it is in real life but I still don't like it. As well as looking off centre, it means my left nostril is narrower than my right which is very annoying when I have a cold because it blocks very easily.

I'll post again (maybe with some pics) after the 'Interdental Stripping' next month.

Wednesday 25 August 2010

Not fixed

I went to get my brace fixed after I broke it last week but they couldn't fix. They've taken off the broken bit and said they'll have to wait until a later date to sort it out. Not happy. That's two teeth now which are unbraced and I just know that this tooth is going to relapse which means the perfect teeth I was promised may not happen.

We'll just have to wait and see what happens to it. It haven't noticed it rotate or move away yet and hopefully it won't.

Tuesday 17 August 2010

Broken

I've broken my brace. Ooops!!! I was eating toffee (yeah, stupid I know) and one of the blocks that is glued to my teeth came off. It's still there because it's tied to the wire but I need to get it fixed. I've got an appointment for Friday (6 days after I broke it) so all should be good.

In other news, all operation related stuff is pretty much the same. Swelling is gone, eating is generally good (I still can't eat cucumber) and there's no pain. I'm wearing elastic bands and I'm not having to go in for review every week now (it's currently every 4 weeks).

There's not really much else to talk about.

Friday 30 July 2010

Photos

These bad boys were taken the day before, and then 5 weeks after the operation. You can still see some swelling around my face and nose but my face is totally different to before the op.










Friday 23 July 2010

I can't remember how to chew

Yesterday I had my two upper wisdom teeth out, just under 5 weeks after my surgery. If you've not been paying attention, here's the situation. Two weeks after my operation, my orthodontist was concerned that I still wasn't able to get my teeth together. He sent me for X-ray and when it came back, it turned out that no one had bothered to take my wisdom teeth out before or during the operation. My orthodontist didn't want to risk taking them out so soon after the operation because the bone was still soft and pulling teeth would have broken the bone. So yesterday, my orthodontist was satisfied that the bone was solid enough to take the strain of tooth extraction.

Before yesterday, I had already had 7 teeth removed so I knew what to expect. I still hated it. For me, the worst part is having the local anaesthetic injected because they shove needles into your gums and you can hear it going in. It's a horrible noise. But other than that, the extractions went well. The orthodontist was really scared when he was doing it though because of dislocating my jaw. Seeing him worried like he was made me worried but luckily, everything stayed in place.

I can now get my teeth together so finally, after 5 weeks of not eating properly, I'm able to again. The only problem is, I've forgotten how to chew food. Normally, it's just something you do and have probably never thought about but I have to think how to doit and at the moment I haven't worked it out. I tried eating some quiche last night and I really struggled. Hopefully, in the next fews days, I'll either remember how to chew or learn to chew again.

Peace out :P

Sunday 11 July 2010

Orthodontist follow up

2 days ago I went back to the orthodontist so that it could be decided when to have my wisdom teeth out now that the swelling has gone down (it's pretty much all gone now which is good). I'm going to have them out in 2 weeks time so that will be just under 5 weeks after the operation. Everyone is hoping that the bone is suitably healed by then so that when they take the teeth out, they don't break my jaw.

I can eat pretty much anything I want now so long as I cut it up really small and I can drink without spilling most of it down me. It's still not perfect - I'm not at a stage where I can go out for a meal - but I'm pretty much there now.

The stitches still hurt but I'm getting used to it now. I thought I was having them out last week but they're dissolvable stitches so they have to stay in and they'll fall out my themselves in about two weeks or so apparently.

I've also noticed that people don't recognise me in the street anymore. People who I haven't seen in a few years don't recognise me straight away or sometimes not at all. It's kind of weird and I'm not sure I like the idea of it. I didn't think I looked that different but it seems I do.

Thursday 8 July 2010

Stitches and Pasta

I haven't written anything in a while now so I thought I should. Little has changed over the last week really. Swelling hasn't gone down much more and I still can't get my teeth together. On the plus side, I'm now eating dinner at the table with the rest of family because I can eat sitting up properly without dropping most of it down me. I have to cut it up really small and I can't chew anything but at least I'm getting somewhere. I've had pasta for the first time in two and a half weeks and I don't have to mash vegetables anymore.

My mouth is full of stitches from where Mr Surgeon sliced me to pieces and for the last couple of days they've been getting quite painful. I'm told that it's because they're pulling, whatever that means. I'm hoping that when I go to the orthodontist tomorrow, they'll be able to take them out. If not, I'll have to be referred back to the hospital and we all know what happens when I'm given a hospital appointment.

Check back tomorrow to see how the orthodontist went.

Friday 2 July 2010

Elastics

Because of the wisdom teeth thing yesterday, I forgot to mention the other things that happened at the Dental Hospital. I now have to wear elastic bands on my brace. They go from lower 8 to upper 3 on each side (I've had upper 5 and lower 5 removed). I'm not sure if I'm supposed to wear them all the time or just at night - I can't remember what he said. I'm going to wear them all the time for the moment though and ask when I see him next week.

I've never had them before and they're weird. They're really hard to get in but you can't really feel them. When you wake up though, it aches from where they've been pulling in the night. They're not nearly as bad as I was expecting though.

On a side note, I can now pretty much feed myself without wearing too much of it. I still have to tip my head back quite a long way and I'm not on solids but I'm getting there. Hopefully I'll be able to shut my teeth soon but we'll have to wait and see what the orthodontist says next Friday.

Thursday 1 July 2010

Cock-up

As cock-ups go, this is quite a big one.

I'm currently not able to fully close my mouth. I can shut my lips but it's impossible for me to get my teeth together. I thought this would just sort itself out with time and since the operation I've been able to get them closer and closer.

It's a week since I was discharged now and I had my follow up appointment at the Dental Hospital. When my orthodontist saw me, he seemed quite worried that I couldn't get my jaws together. He sent me straight down to x-ray and when the pics came back, it turns out that somebody forgot to take my wisdom teeth out. I don't know whose fault this is, whether it's my dentist, orthodontist or surgeon but surely one of them would have noticed at some point that I still have 4 huge teeth still buried in my face.

I'm going back next Friday when the swelling has completely gone so he can have a proper look and then in 6 weeks time I'll have my wisdom teeth out. The bit of this that worries me is that if I can't get my teeth together for another 6 weeks, I'm stuck on baby food because I won't be able to chew anything. Bad times.

Tuesday 29 June 2010

Changes

Firstly, sorry if you were following this and none of the last week's post uploaded. I don't know what I did wrong but they're there now. Many things have changed in the last few days.

I have most of the sensation back in and around my mouth now. It's just my bottom lip and the centre of my chin that is still numb. Although I can't fully close my mouth, I can move it a lot more than before and as a result, I'm able to talk better and eat soft food. Mashed up vegetables and stuff really. It tastes really nice but maybe that's just because I've only had sugary fruit juice for a week.

I stopped taking codine (a powerful painkiller) a couple of nights ago after the dreams it was making me have got too scary. Seriously, I haven't had nightmares since I was like 6 but this week has been awful. As a result of no codine, my sleep is very broken and I find myself waking every couple of hours then having real difficulty getting back off again.

Today is the first day I've felt like I have energy though so that can only be a good thing. I've been up and about around the house doing things rather than just watching TV. My appetite has also retured a lot today so I'm finding myself eating quite a lot.

I have orthodontist on Thursday. Not too sure what they're going to do but I'll post next after that.

Friday 25 June 2010

Home

I've been home for a night now and it's such a relief. It's quiet, cooler, dark at night, more comfortable and I get closer care. I'm not saying the nurses weren't good, Kathy and Petra (who I was sick on) were amazing but they had another 29 people on the ward to look after too. My face is still huge and the bruising is getting worse. The good news is that I'm able to keep things down rather than being sick everywhere. I have these high energy juice drinks that replace meals because I can't chew or move my jaw at all. They're not very nice but they'll do. I have no sensation in my lips or mouth either so I tend to drool a lot over myself, pillows and whatever I'm near really. I weighed myself yesterday and I've lost 6 pounds from when I went in. That's not as much as I was expecting but I'll probably lose more in the next fews days.

Hopefully in the next few days, I'll be able to start having soup and yoghurt and then soft food. I miss food. I would kill for a bag of fish and chips right now.

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Day 3

They've told me that the third day is the worst and I really hope they're right because this is hell. It's too hot. Anything I try to eat makes me sick. The bruising is coming up, so is the swelling. I want to go home. I've also been pretty confused the last couple of days. Yesterday afternoon, I went to sleep and when I woke up I thought it was the next day but it was only half an our later so I've not been here as long as I thought I had. I'm just on one drip now and the drains have been removed so I'm able to get up to pee rather than peeing in bottles and giving it to a nurse.

Funny side story: I woke up one time yesterday and noticed the curtains were shut so I thought I may as well have a pee then. After finishing i stumbled around the curtain with my bottle and handed it to the nurse as I normally do. Only then did I realise that it was someone who I went to school with!!!!1 HAHAHAHA sorry Hannah. Thanks for looking after me though.

Anyway, I'm fed up now. That man is still pissing me off but hopefully I'm going home tomorrow.

Monday 21 June 2010

I survived

I had my surgery today and everything went well apparently. I feel like I've been hit by a bus but I have a button that gives me morphine when I press it so that's alright. The hospital is too hot. The weather looks really nice outside and there's no air con in here and the windows hardly open. I'm pretty sleepy most of the time so I try and sleep. I can't move anywhere because I'm on 2 IV drips, I have a tube in each cheek draining blood and I'm hooked up to some machine that bleeps from time to time.

The man in the bed opposite is really annoying and doesn't shut up. All I want to do is sleep but he's there shouting and screaming and making a big fuss over nothing. OK so he's missing half a leg but I've been hit by a bus.

Hopefully I'll get a visit from the family at some point today. I'm going to sleep now.

Oh by the way

If you're coming to visit me, I don't want cards, flowers, grapes,
chocolates, teddy bears, balloons or any of that rubbish. Bring me
something useful like a newspaper etc. Kthxbai

Good morning from the NHS hotel

My operation is in two hours time now and I'm starving hungry but I'm
not allowed to eat or drink. I have a couple of issues with the
accommodation however. The blankets are too short, my feet stick out
the bottom. They leave too many lights on so it's not dark enough. The
window blinds are left open so it's light at 3am. The earplugs are
pretty good though.

I spoke to the aneathatist yesterday and he basically went through
with me what's going to happen. The operation lasts three and a half
hours. When I wake up my mouth will still be bleeding so I'll have one
of those sucker things like in the orthodontist. I'll have two little
drains under each cheek to stop and bruising and reduce the swelling
but there's still going to be a lot of swelling for 5 or 6 days.

I think I have to go and have a shower soon. Then I have to wait for
my operation. The man in bed 15 is still snoring quite loudly.

Hopefully, the next thing you hear from me will be post op.

Sunday 20 June 2010

12 hours to go

Well here I am. I'm in hospital at last... kinda. I have a bed but
it's just shoved in the corner so I don't have a TV, a bedside table
or chair. I've been told that after my operation I'll have a proper
bed and stuff. Apparently, my operation is at 8.30 tomorrow morning so
hopefully I won't be waiting around too long. As you can tell, I'm
already bored. There are 75 tiles on the ceiling. The man next to me
is watching his TV and Brazil are winning. It smells funny in here.
That's about it for now.

Wednesday 16 June 2010

This should be it.

So after a week of phone-calls to the Admissions department, my surgeon's secretary, my orthodontist's secretary, the Complaints department, the Divisional Manager for surgery and the Chief Executive's secretary; I've been given a date: June 21st (this coming Monday). The Divisional Manager has put me as the highest priority for Sunday and Monday so unless there's a big pile up on the motorway and lots of people require emergency facial reconstruction, I'll be having my operation.

Because it's been so long (4 months), I had a second pre-op last night and everything is fine. I'm also seeing my orthodontist tomorrow (Thursday) because he wants to check that everything is still as it should be. I've also got my follow up at the orthodontist on July 1st.

Now that I've spoken to these managers and executives, It's pretty likely that after 6 cancellations, this date will stick and I'm glad that it's so soon now. Hopefully, the next time I post will be when I've been called into the hospital on Sunday evening.

Monday 7 June 2010

I don't care anymore

It's cancelled again and frankly I'm sick of this. I'm going private and sending the bill to the NHS.

I'm too annoyed to write anything else.

Friday 28 May 2010

This is getting ridiculous

Guess who phoned me yesterday? That's right. The admissions lady at the hospital. They've pushed me back a week to June 14th. This is now the sixth date I've had for this operation and I'm fed up of it. I'm going to do the great old British tradition of an angry letter to someone and have it not read by them. I'm not sure who's fault this is but from what Nicky (the admissions lady) was saying, Mr Guest (the surgeon) said that he had pushed be back this time I think.

I'm starting to think that maybe I'll never have this operation now. I know that the date I have at the moment won't stand for very long and that it will get changed again sometime soon. I'm also wondering whether my brace is still how it should be. I last went to the orthodontist on February 19th when I was prepared for surgery but that was over 3 months ago now. I'm a bit concerned that when Mr Guest finally decides he wants to operate on me, he'll have a look at my brace and say he can't do it because something has moved since February. And I'll be really annoyed if that happens because I'll have to go through this whole damn process again.

Tuesday 25 May 2010

Guess What?

Yep. That's right. My operation has been moved AGAIN. June 7th now, 1 day earlier. This might not seem so bad but it means that the operation is on a Monday and the Admissions lady who keeps phoning me has previously said that the Monday list is more likely to have cancellations. So that's just great. I'm now at a stage where I expect her to phone me again sometime in the next two weeks and cancel it again. It seems like a certainty to me now that it will be cancelled. For a health system that is seen to be one of the best in world, it sure knows how to mess things up for people. Who knows, one day I might actually have this operation.

Friday 23 April 2010

22 Days Later

After spending 3 weeks trying to get hold of the admissions lady at the hospital to fix the problem about the admission (see previous), they rang me today. They offered me a sooner date, May 9th I think but I have exams around then so I'm sticking with June 8th. I told her about the admission error and she's fixed that and confirmation is in the post. So hopefully now, everything is set now. The operation list I'm on is less likely to get cancelled than the one I was on before and I got a confirmed date so with a bit of luck, I might actually have an operation sometime soon.

I still feel as though they'll be another problem though...

Thursday 1 April 2010

Third time not-so-lucky

So confirmation of my operation came through today, and guess what. It's wrong. It's not the June 1st apparently, it's June 8th and the letter says that I'm a day patient, which I'm clearly not. So I phoned up the admissions woman (who's a bit rubbish to be honest) and she said she had got the weeks mixed up and they only do operations every other Tuesday so I've been pushed back a week. I told her about the day patient thing and she said she would have to speak to my consultant to change it and he's not in again until next week. So it's likely that my operation is now on June 8th if it doesn't get cancelled (apparently there are usually less cancellations on the Tuesday list).

Tuesday 30 March 2010

Third time lucky

So a month after I had my operation cancelled for the second time, I've finally got a new date. June 1st. It's after exams and everything so once I finish my last exam on May 28th, I'll have a couple of days to move out of my flat and get settled in at home before I go into hospital. Also, being right at the start of my sumer, I'll only have to start work 2 weeks after I finish uni rather than waiting a month or two for the operation before I can go back to Somerfield.

The thing is, I'm expecting it to be cancelled again. I'm not going to get my hopes this time because it's been cancelled twice already. I'll prepare for it and everything just in case but I'm 75% sure it will get cancelled again. Just a feeling.

That's all for now. I'm off to watch the Outnumbered boxset with my flatmates.

Wednesday 3 March 2010

Cancelled again

I've been really busy the past couple of days so I forgot about this but my operation has been cancelled again. I didn't get a reason for why this time but now I don't have a date for it now. I think I have to phone them and give them dates for when I can have it but I'm not really sure. Kinda sucks. On the plus side, I'll have most of my uni work finished well ahead of schedule so I'll probably be completely finished by March 26th (provided I can do all of Audio Processing in 9 days - 50 hours work in 9 days seems possible).

Unless my operation is somewhere between March 29th and April 5th, it's going to have to wait until June, because of exams. I HAVE to be at uni from April 19th until the end of May for exam prep and then exams. I can't afford any time off then at all. If it's in June though, I'll miss two weeks of being able to work in Somerfield or wherever which sucks a bit I want this operation more than 2 weeks of Somerfield.

Friday 19 February 2010

Wafers

Wafers turned out to be little plastic plates that sit on my teeth. Apparently they hold my teeth in place when my jaw is wired shut. I had to try these in at the hospital today. Mr Guest my surgeon strolled in 20 minutes late, shock my hand, popped them in my mouth, popped them out, asked if I had any questions, then said I could go. And that's it. No more appointments now until the operation. Everything's ready to go so all we need to do now is wait now for March 22nd (unless it's cancelled again).

That is all

Thursday 18 February 2010

Cancelled

Four days before my operation and it's been cancelled. They've had an emergency cancer case come in and they have to do that first. I can't complain really. If I was that cancer patient, I'd want to be put first. I'm pretty bummed about it though. I got everything worked around it and even rearranged assessment dates with lecturers and now there's been no reason to. Oh well.

It's been rearranged for Monday 22nd March (4 weeks later) and that falls on the last week of the semester before Easter. It's looking like I won't miss too much and I'll be able to get most things in beforehand. It also give me the whole of Easter to recover before having to worry about exams.

I still have an appointment tomorrow (I think), so I'll be able to talk to my surgeon and orthodontist and find out what's going to happen. I'll let y'all know. I doubt I'll much to post over the next month because I imagine it's just going to be a waiting game now. Fingers crossed for March 22nd.

Wednesday 17 February 2010

Appointements

OK so I meant to write this 5 days ago but I've been too busy and I've had no internet as well. On Friday I had two hospital appointments. One was a pre-op assessment where they did things like check my family history and take my height, weight, blood pressure etc.; and the other was so they could take some measurements for the surgeon.

Apart from the waiting around the first one went fine. I'm a little underweight but then you can guess that by looking at me. My blood pressure was 135/81, which apparently is fine :S Then we had to wait for the doctor to arrive because our appointment was at 8.30 and he didn't start until 9 (Well done, great booking skills there). At 9.30 he finally showed up and listened to my chest and heart and asked all the questions I had already been asked. Next I had blood taken by some other nurse and that was that. Pretty basic, nothing to worry about.

The second appointment wasn't so great. In order to measure my face they had to use this torture device. They put a thing right in each ear (and I mean right in. I thought they were going to damage my hearing how far they were in). A piece then went over my nose and a big fork went into my mouth that I had to hold against my teeth. Every time they tightened it and adjusted it, it pushed harder on my ears and I'm fairly sure I let out a few little yelps of pains but these things were so far in, I couldn't hear myself. It's probably one of the most painful things I've been through but during it I thought that this is probably nothing compared to what I'm going to be like next week.

I've developed a cold these last few days and I'm trying desperately to shift it as soon as I can. If I still have it when I go in, they may not operate I think. That's bad now that I'm really ready for it and have done all the prep with uni work and everything. I think it's going to be fine but you never know. It's strange to think that by this time next week I will have had the operation that has been planned since I was about 13 and that hopefully, in 6 months time, I'll be through the whole treatment, which started with my first brace when I was 10.

Wednesday 10 February 2010

Phone calls, boredom and uni

It worries me slightly that 10 days before my operation, I'm getting phone calls from the hospital trying to work out what appointments I have between now and then and who I'm seeing and everything. I either have 1 or 2 this Friday (they're still not sure) and another one next Friday - a couple of days before I'm due in. Hopefully, they'll phone me tomorrow saying they know what's happening but I doubt it somehow.

Another thing I've been thinking about is how bored I'm going to be. 3 nights in hospital and 2 weeks at home with nothing to do. Even I can't watch TV and DVDs for 2 weeks straight but I don't know what else I'll be capable of doing really. In hospital I probably won't have internet or a phone so I won't be able to spend my whole life online. I'll have morphine to keep me company though and I'll probably want to sleep for the rest of it.

As for uni, I think I'm going to be suitably ahead by the time I go in (apart from my Dissertation which I've been behind with since October). I'm in the same groups for everything which makes things easier and hopefully I'll be able to start doing something from home in the second week. I'm bound to fall behind in Audio Processing while I'm away but catching up shouldn't be too much of a challenge I hope.

Next post: Friday - test day

Sunday 7 February 2010

Intro

I have made this blog so that anyone who wants to can keep up to date with how I'm doing with my surgery. On Feb 22nd I'm having a Bimaxillary Osteotomy which basically means they break and realign my jaw so that my teeth line up. I've been wearing a brace since June 2007 in order to straighten my teeth and then the operation will move both my top and bottom rows of teeth so that they line up. I expect ti have to take 2 weeks off from uni after the operation so that the bone can heal, the swelling can reduce and I can eat again.

After the surgery, I won't be able to eat solids for a while and I won't be able to chew anything until the bone has healed. That's what I'm least looking forward to in all of this. I'll look a little bit different as well obviously. I'll have more of chin and less or a teeth look about me hopefully. Also, my voice will be slightly different and my facial expressions will change a little bit. It shouldn't be too dramatic as the jaw is only being moved a centimetre or two but it will definitely make a difference.

Hopefully, I'll be alive enough to blog on here enough to keep it up to date with what's happening :)